Someone asked me a question that left me contemplating the difference between the soul, the ego, and consciousness. The answer I received has nothing to do with soul mates intrinsically, but it occurred to me that perhaps to truly understand the concept of soul mates, we must first understand the nature of the soul.
In a 2017 workshop, we discussed the shamanic concept that everything created was energy, consciousness, or Spirit. Everything in Creation is animated by its soul or life force emanating from the Creator. This soul is the sine qua non or "without which there is nothing," in other words, we would not be without a soul. It is indispensable and essential. We are souls temporarily inhabiting physical bodies. A soul is the immaterial animating principle or actuating cause of life, infused with Divine Consciousness.
Our original hypothesis that the soul is nonphysical or immaterial is not entirely accurate; it has form, substance, weight, and volume. These qualities are negligible and approach zero; nonetheless, the soul is more "physical" than we understand. The soul is not a singularity as often described but a composite creation. It is a life force imbued with divine consciousness, a mind-body system, that animates the physical body and the biological mind, from which the ego emanates. Yet, the soul is separate from biology; the pure consciousness might be called "the mind of the soul." The soul is the vehicle of the "separated spirit" carrying the divine essence, consciousness, and capacity (for expansion), and installing it into, the physical embodiment.
I've been reluctant to talk about soul mates, especially twin flames because I am not convinced that the popular concepts are accurate. The notions of soul mates and twin flames seemed romanticized and sensationalized. There are no foundational sources to back them. I also had a problem with the mathematical probability of meeting one's other half, which I will go into later. I have always considered anyone in our lives as teachers and soul mates helping us evolve along the way on our path. These teachers and mates might be prearranged before we incarnate, or they might be "called in" according to our vibration.
I referred to soul mates and soul twins in the Keys to the Kingdom discussion and blog post, citing that Teal Swan teaches, "The people who trigger us to feel negative emotions are messengers. They are messengers for the unhealed part of our being." People in our experiences will almost always reflect something to us; they are our mirrors. Often, they are just passers-by, not even genuinely involved in our situation. However, some people are more than just messengers; they are the significant players who collaborated with us or were attracted to our reality. These are the foremost teachers in our experience, the ones who cross lines and push limits, teaching us tolerance, acceptance, boundaries, and more. That is often the basis for our shadow work. It may not be that these people necessarily demonstrate a behavior we possess or recognize, but bring out behaviors or feelings from within ourselves for examination and modification.
Carl Jung described this shadow as an unknown dark (i.e., not in the light of consciousness) side of one's personality. In his work, The Republic, Plato wrote about the "unexamined life" and presented his cave analogy: the shadow is to the object as the object is to the archetype. We are a shadow of our archetype or Oversoul; our shadow is a darker reflection of ourselves. That shadow usually presents through other people that come into our life. Shadow Teachers might also include soul mates and twin flames. For the sake of this discussion, we will use the popular view of both these "categories" of people. I will use each category to describe the quality and intensity of the relationship and the potential for expansion and growth, not as what I believe is the overly idealized view of them.
In a previous post, I wrote, "A soul mate is that one person who completes you; they are at least a simpatico, compatible relationship. A soul mate relationship usually includes karmic events, past life contracts, or continuing an experience with them in this lifetime. A twin flame is a perfect mirror or polar shadow, so either way, this is bound to be an extreme or intense relationship, the amalgamation of soul mate aspects and mirror/shadow aspects. That said, this could be our Heaven on Earth or our Hell Walk."
At least to some degree, I still stand by these concepts in the blog article, but perhaps with a more expanded view now. Each one demonstrates vibrational matching; it may even be an example of the ultimate vibrational matching we seek to complete our purpose here. I am not convinced about the idea of two people literally sharing a soul or that we must rely on another person to complete ourselves. Contemporary sources seem to dramatize and overstate the concepts of soul mates without any substantial reference to ancient wisdom.
The ideas are seemingly proven wrong when so many people not only claim to have found their soul mate but also seem to find many of them as they move from one relationship to another. The general idea of a soul mate is that one person in the Universe who matches us perfectly. Still, even the ancient wisdom indicates the possibility that more than one outcome is possible, if not likely. I think we can agree that the concept of soul mates speaks to polarity, which implies not only a duality but a range or spectrum including two extremes and everything between them. This may also speak to paradoxes, often hearing people describing their mate as one that drives them crazy, but also as one they can not live without.
In addition to understanding the soul, we must also understand the concepts of fragmentation and integration. Ancient wisdom speaks to this process and points to the consummation of a soul mate relationship as our purpose's ultimate quest and completion. I have described our fragmentation process, both currently and in other lives. Our division began when we left the nonphysical and continued our process here. The basic concept of integration is to heal all this fragmentation and restore our soul and self to its original state of wholeness. In that regard, I can see why the "soul mate relationship" is a major spiritual event. My big question at this point is whether soul mates are a physical phenomenon or just a metaphor for a more significant metaphysical singularity of total integration or completion of our soul purpose.
I have concluded that integration begins with the individual soul and all the different versions of that soul (or consciousness) across all space, time, dimensions, and realities. But we will start at the beginning. All our chakras must be simpatico, in sync, on the same wavelength for optimum functionality. That, of course, is a component of the Shamanic Consciousness Integration (SCI) treatments. That extends out to include our respective etheric or energetic bodies, meridians, aura, and biofield. We must also retrieve, restore, and integrate all our lost soul parts and dissociated quanta of consciousness, which can be done through the soul retrieval process included in SCI.
The Keys of Enoch explains that humanity must understand this stage before truly understanding soul progression. That process we perceive as "ascension" or completion, which may take eons and many incarnations, is just a stepping stone to what lies ahead in our spiritual evolution. It's a good thing we are eternal. Thoth explains in the Emerald Tablets that "truth" is ever-expanding, and even the Higher Evolution realizes that they have not, nor ever will stop learning and evolving. We contribute to that process through our physical learning experiences here. The journey matters most because, honestly, there is no destination, only resting points along the way. Finding our finalized and completed soul mate is a momentous milestone on our path, but it is also just a new beginning...and often not an easy one.
The concept of a true soul mate or twin flame is about reaching a point in our process where we require no further incarnations. To find our soul mates, we must match that soul mate vibrationally, and we do this in every relationship, every lifetime, to some degree. The key is to reach that point of completion for both souls to form the ultimate reunion or "marriage." To find your perfect match means that you must be offering that most excellent vibration, which can only come after doing all the necessary integration or vibrational work.
Until that time, we are vibrating at less than perfection so that the degree and quality of our soul mate relationships are relative. Our relationships are a perfect match to what we are offering now. The relationship is still that of a "soul mate." Supposedly when we meet our mate or twin, we know it instantly and intensely; but is that not the case in many "love at first sight" scenarios? I propose this is merely soul recognition and can be one of many of our supporting souls coming in as they should. In the Tarot, the Two of Cups reversed often means a relationship meant to be, but not last. It is a stepping stone, a transition, or part of our progressive process. As Abraham Hicks teaches, we have to find out what we don't want to find out what we do want. In our physical reality we call this "dating."
Only matching vibrations can share space. Past generations would marry young, have kids, and stay married for a lifetime. But that doesn't mean they were soul mates; it was practical or what "should" be done. Marriage was a contract and partnership. Today a person may date many people before finding a suitable spouse. We learn what we want by experiencing what we don't want. As we evolve and our capacity and vibe change, as we grow, even those we deemed a soul mate at one time may fall away. We then seek a new vibrational match until we find that one person who does not necessarily "complete" us but grows with us, and we both find that completion. Thus, the journey is most important as both souls evolve and continue to remain a steady vibrational match.
However, these are only examples of the widespread belief that soul mates are lovers or sexual partners. They are also "significant others" beyond that category of relationship. They are "our people," including family members, best friends, and platonic relationships. I maintain that a soul mate is a matter of degree (and intensity), and includes any person simpatico with us (or in some cases the polar opposite), that we love, that we have a connection with or a strong affinity to, or simply one we always choose as an incarnation partner. I have been told that my granddaughter is my soul mate, especially in terms of driving me crazy, pushing all my buttons, and being the love of my life that I canot live without, all at once.
Zohar, the source of Kabbalistic traditions, teaches that two perfect souls, each that have successfully reached their transformation, earn the right to meet and marry on this physical plane. Together, they complete their individual and combined purpose as one being, reaching spiritual fulfillment when their lives are "conducted in purity." It also clearly states this a scenario of a man and a woman who marries. Further, the woman typically completes her purpose first and then observes her twin until he reaches a point where she can take physical form, join him, and help him achieve his purpose.
The two do not usually incarnate simultaneously and it might take many lifetimes before crossing paths. The female often comes in "negative" forms to carry out their divine purpose, those stereotypes that make a man's life uncomfortable or unpleasant. Kabbalah even teaches that should two married people discover they are soul mates, they are to divorce their spouse, who are to willingly let go and allow them to carry out their higher purpose. The man's twin then might even present as "the other woman."
I would like to think is a metaphor relative to the context of the times. Just this example of ancient wisdom makes me believe we should not take the concept of soul mates literally. However, Kabbalah equates women with the Sephrothic level Binah in the Tree of Life, which means "understanding" or "power beside the Throne (Keter)." Treating this as metaphor and not doctrine, we tend to "divorce" those who no longer vibe with us. That is the "falling away" I speak of as we evolve. The mismatched vibrations can no longer share space.
As spiritual beings and seekers, we often reach points at which we must burn bridges, walk away, leave things and people behind, and move forward on our path. We spend a great deal of time learning what is for our highest good, releasing what no longer serves us, and reinventing ourselves. We part ways with people and indoctrination, programming, and belief systems. We are constantly in movement, a divine tendency, and those relationships "meant to last" will move with us.
Soul Mates, especially Twin Flames, are infamous for the seemingly inherent difficulties of the relationships despite the fairy tale perfection of shared beliefs. When we attempt to combine opposites, polarities, and shadows, why would we even consider this might be Heaven on Earth when it leans more toward a Walk Through Hell?
We have been poisoned by fairy tales—Anais Nin
Fallen myths distill venom—Denis De Rougemont
The Lovers card in the Tarot addresses the trials, tests, and obstacles to overcome before successfully consummating the relationship. Sometimes they cannot be overcome. Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet might portray a twin flame relationship. Many people refer to this as a story of true love. It is not. This juvenile infatuation lasted four days, and six people died, including the two smitten teenagers. That is a tale of tragedy, not romance. That said, perhaps the Tower card of the Tarot is a fitting soul mate scenario: the destruction of foundations, internal strife, massive upheaval, termination, and devastation. We might even make a case for Yaheshua (Jesus) and Lucifer or Samael (Satan) being Twin Flames.
George Bernard Shaw might have summed up the idea of twins with his quote, "There are two tragedies in life: one is to lose your heart's desire; the other is to gain it." That leads me to my personal experiences with some of these concepts, what I call my favorite regrets, one in particular as it offered the most opportunity for learning. First, I knew she was coming in; I knew what she looked like, the color of her hair, and even the color of her eyes. The initial encounter was intense and led to a whirlwind relationship. She seemed to match up with everything I was looking for, for a while. Then things began to get real as I realized this woman was essentially a sociopath, lying about virtually everything. Nothing she told me about her past was true. She loved to party and spend money, especially mine. At times, it was Heaven on Earth. At other times, it was Hell on Earth. My Guides eventually warned me that I was "walking a razor's edge," and this relationship would ultimately cause me to "fall." I did finally end the relationship.
That was undoubtedly one of those "WTF was that all about" situations when this relationship finally ended. The answer came to me that I should have no regrets or harbor any bad feelings toward her. She was damaged, but she also executed her role relative to me, as she was supposed to. We had many new experiences together, but mainly, she was the principal teacher for me regarding love, relationships, boundaries, and more. This relationship was a necessary learning experience, and I might even be grateful for her participation in it.
That was my first lesson on gratitude over forgiveness. This soul loved me enough to come in, as she was, not only for her expansion but to help me with mine. There was one moment during our relationship that I will never forget. Her entire persona changed, and she spoke with such clarity, asking me: Do you have any idea what kind of hell I'm living like this? She then immediately returned to being her regular self.
Moving on. Some of the ancient mythology describing human division is interesting. Aristophanes, a contemporary of Plato, wrote a tale supposedly responding to Plato's Symposium. Plato addressed same-sex relationships, specifically men. In any event, that tale was about human giants with two heads and four arms and legs that were cleaved by Zeus because their potential power threatened him. This condition left the humans fated to seek their other half forever. Some sources use this as an analogy to soul mates and the original gender division of humans created as androgynous beings. While the tale may be somewhat disturbing, I can see a parallel concept when tracing the flow of consciousness in the Divine Hierarchy, which I will address a bit later.
In Egyptian mythology, the two gods, Shu and Tefnut, literally shared one soul; however, this soul carried the respective aspects of Osiris and Ra—a composite creation. This relationship produced a supreme god named Atrum. He eventually became Amen-Ra in the New Kingdom dynasty of Egypt and continued to evolve into Zeus, king of Greek gods. However, the god, Khnum, shaped two humans out of clay (a Genesis reference). Still, it was the goddess Hathor (a Shekinah reference) who imparted the life force (Ba) and the soul or Spirit (Ka) into Khnum's composition through the power of the Ankh. Note: this fits more with my previous message defining the soul at the beginning of this discourse.
In the Egyptian Cartouche oracle that incorporates universal archetypes into readings, the Ankh (#24) is the key to life, life force, and emotional human and divine love. The numerology of this card is the number six, the number of love, balance, and humanity. The Twins ((#20) refers to the twin gods Shu and Tefnut, integration, polarity, partnerships, and marriages. The numerology of this card is the number 2, standing for unions, marriage, relationships, while its reversed meaning is basically division.
Continuing with ancient Egyptian wisdom, we can look at the Kybalion and Hermetic principles of Thoth, and how they might align with the Kabbalistic idea of correcting and rectifying to complete our higher purpose, and how these concepts fit into the model of Soul Mates. Principle of Vibration: all things are in movement and a constant state of vibration. Cause and Effect: our karma or consequence of actions. Polarity: everything is a duality with opposites that are identical in nature but different in degree, all on a spectrum of reconcilable paradoxes. Reconciling any paradox is a concept in Relativistic Theory presented by Einstein and Kabbalistic teaching.
The Principle of Correspondence: that above corresponds to that below; that below corresponds to that above, and together form the one true thing. This speaks to a sacred union or marriage of the Divine and the Material "when the two become as one." In the Book of Thomas, Jesus says, "when you make the two one, the inside the outside, and the outside inside, the above as below, and establish the male and female as one unit; you will enter the Kingdom." The Kingdom equates with the "vortex" taught by Abraham Hicks, the energetic holding point containing all our desires pending their actualization into physical form. However, he might be talking about soul mates too.
The purpose of our many incarnations is to correct, rectify, integrate, and become whole. The masculine and feminine energies are two polarities involved in that process; however, I am not convinced that the soul mate or twin flame concept is limited to just those energies, much less restricted to a man-woman relationship. The outcome has to do with a range or spectrum of all our disjointed aspects on multiple levels. The final twinning is the last aspects or polarities that must reconcile to complete the process, not to mention the entire spectrum of sexuality, which might even be a manifestation of the trend to embrace the totality of our being.
The Divine Hierarchy and Flow of Consciousness, from YHWH or Source to our physical world, map out our creation process, including the Divine Feminine in the Elohim Creator Gods, the Shekinah, and the Sons and Daughters of Light (collectively called the Lords of Light). Source Energy or the Creator is beyond non-binary in indefinite ways. All waves or cycles of Creation contain this divine DNA, image, or aspect of the Creator, including our archetype or Oversoul from which all our soul versions emanate and manifest.
The Keys of Enoch, Key 303, explains that the "divine seed" manifested as humanity expresses as a dynamic life force through the diversity of that seed in infinite possibilities of physical experiences and to ultimately evolve to experience levels of Elohistic divinity to co-reign with the Lords of Light. Our souls and the various counterparts are generated as either male or female, the first of our fragmentation, and then is likely to be the last thing we overcome, correct, rectify, or transform. However, males and females are the opposites on a spectrum, so everything "in-between" must also factor into this scenario. That is the final step of integrating the physical plane before we "ascend" back into the Light as our whole original soul. At this point, we then complete our purpose of the ultimate goal of reaching the Oneness or Totality with the Nature of God, a non-binary, androgynous, energetic being of pure Light. Our "twinning" is integrating and returning to the nonphysical from the physical. When the two become one. I see this as a very personal event, not one that requires a second party.
However, if it did, we must look at the probability of that event occurring. According to Wikipedia, "Probability is the branch of mathematics concerning numerical descriptions of how likely an event is to occur, or how likely it is that a proposition is true." The probability of an event is a number between 0 and 1, where, roughly speaking, 0 indicates the impossibility of the event and 1 indicates certainty. The higher the probability of an event, the more likely it is that the event will occur. A simple example is the tossing of a fair (unbiased) coin. Since the coin is fair, the two outcomes (either heads or tails) are equally probable. The probability of "heads" equals the probability of "tails." Since no other results are possible, the probability of either "heads" or "tails" is 1/2 or 0.5 or 50%)."
That is the simplest way to calculate the probability of a single event, dividing the number of favorable events by the number of possible outcomes. A slightly more complex example is determining the likelihood of rolling a three using a single die. There is only one three on the die, so the number of events is one. The number of possible outcomes is six, one through six. The formula then would be 1/6 = 0.16666 or approximately seventeen percent (17%). Using the scenario of rolling two dice (two perfect souls) to roll a double three, representing the singular favorable event each is seeking, we have two events and thirty-six possible outcomes (6x6). 2/36 = 0.05555 or approximately six percent (6%). The odds of rolling one three, one particular outcome, with 36 possible outcomes, drops even more to 2.7777 or 3%.
It is more likely that we have thousands of forms of ourselves spanning space-time and multiple dimensions. Assume we have 10,000 versions ranging from male to female and everything in between, with two souls seeking one another. That puts our odds of finding our soul mate at roughly 0.02%. Finding one's soul mate is a spiritual lottery win. In addition, this assumes that both souls are actively seeking each other. Final reconciliation might have been the plan coming in, but one or both could deviate from that path along the way.
We have a range of views on soul mates and twin flames and various theories about how we transition from the nonphysical to the physical. Some debunk and dismiss the idea of twins altogether. Some teach that we follow our twin over all our incarnations but never actually meet them on this physical plane. Still, we gather all the necessary physical experiences for spiritual evolution and complete our nonphysical process. Others believe only one twin incarnates while the other observes its polarity in the nonphysical. Still, at some point, it takes form to complete the final physical steps before ascending to the higher plane. My opinion is that the ultimate twinning is within and of ourselves, not necessarily involving or relying on another person. In any case, it seems to boil down to finding our authentic and highest version of ourselves.
We exaggerate the concept of soul mates to the point of considering them unattainable when they surround us. We cannot see the forest for the trees; we continue to seek what we might already have. We want perfection without having first to perfect ourselves. We desire fairy tale endings, chase unicorns, and fight dragons when we should be focusing on ourselves. We put too much literal meaning to the term "twin flames," seeking our fulfillment in someone else when we must be seeking self-fulfillment and improvement.
The bottom line, in my opinion, is that this is all about you, not someone else, and not in terms of a shared soul. According to Kabbalah and many other sources, we are part of the All, which means we all share a common "soul" or divine DNA-consciousness, and technically, we are all Soul Mates. Our vibration determines who can enter our energetic field and subjective reality, so we must do our vibrational work first to attract and have that ideal mate. They are watching and waiting for us to hit that level. They already exist and, by law, must reveal. When and if you find that one person or soul along the way out of all the possibilities which match your high-quality vibe, who can hang with your weirdness and continue seeking with you, then hang onto them. You have found that unicorn, and there are no more wind mills to fight or dragons to slay.
And they all lived happily everafter. The end.
Next time I think I will drop some Notes on Narcissism: Shadow Teachers. I will also be posting about that elusive Shadow we hear so much about.
Meanwhile, you can learn more about these and other concepts in my book Simpatico and its Essential Supplement. Click here.
